Proselytizing is lazy

(Fair warning: If you like going door-to-door handing out religious pamphlets, this is not the post you're looking for.)

First and foremost, just to clear the air: I respect other people's right to their beliefs, even though I may not always see those beliefs as tenable. I firmly believe that having the choice, and the ability to debate a topic openly, is a fantastic thing. Also, note that "you" in this article refers to the collective group of door-to-door religion salesman, or a completely fictitious sample person, and not you, the reader.
 

Now that I have that off my chest: stop knocking on my door, hoping to convert me. It's rude. Here I am, enjoying my time, doing whatever it is I like to do. And here you are, hoping to hand me a pamphlet that will save me from eternal damnation.

 

First of all, it's rude because you've knocked on my door, essentially trying to sell me something. I think we can all agree that telemarketers who do cold calls are rude, right? I know I'm not alone on this. So interrupting my free time to tell me what you like to do with your free time is also rude.

 

Second, it's rude because you assume I need saving. "But we're just trying to tell you about our awesome church!" Yes, well, let me explain how that works. I have friends. I talk to them. If your church is awesome, and my friends are the type of people who go to your church, and we share similar interests (i.e. I'm someone they would feel comfortable inviting to their church), they'll invite me. In other words, if your church is awesome and I'm inclined to go to such a place, I'll find out about it without your intervention.

 

And the "saving" bit in particular rubs me the wrong way. You believe what you believe, and I believe what I believe. When you boil it down, we both have a preference for one thing over another. So starting out with the whole "saving" or "savior" bit is a little presumptuous. It's like assuming that Coke is inferior to Pepsi as a universal truth just because you prefer Pepsi. No, I don't want to be saved. Mainly because I don't agree that I need saving to start with, I don't believe in what you want to save me with, and I don't believe what you propose to save me from. Believing in something doesn't make it reality.

 

And finally, it's rude because you don't even bother asking about my beliefs. And on the rare occasions that you do, they are completely disregarded. Essentially, we don't enter into a discussion about beliefs and their merits. We don't have an open-minded conversation about how we arrived at our respective beliefs. You dismiss mine as unworthy right off the bat, and then proceed to batter me with a very one-sided discourse. Exactly how is that supposed to come off?

 

Here's an idea, just my idea, worth every penny you paid for it. Try this:

Greet me and apologize for interrupting my day. Ask me if I have time to chat. Introduce yourself. Ask me if I mind talking about religion. Then, bear with me here, enter into a normal discussion with me. Talk to me about my beliefs and your beliefs. Sit on my front porch and get to know me a little bit. I love talking about religion. I don't love condescension and rhetoric. See the difference? Treat me like a person, not a project. I'll invite you in, offer you a beer or a coke, and you can see what kind of person I am. Hell, we might both learn something.